(no subject)

[rowltfl]

Video

The problem with kids today is none of you know how to make a halfway decent shank.

[Eda's in rarely in technical violation of any rule. Give her a system, and she will find ways to skirt it. This one, she's already determines, stinks of blind obedience, but that's not what rotting at the core. No, it's worse. This is a system that actually follows its rules. And those rules? Are stupid. There's not one against just making people uncomfortable, for one fun example.]

In my day we'd be battling our way out of detention with improvised sharp objects before any but the weakest among us succumbed to torture.

[Torture here meaning "homework."]

I bet none of you have stolen any teeth to speak of. Look, things just aren't given to you in this life. You have to reach out. Keep reaching. Grow out your elbows to unprecedented lengths. Lick them, just to prove you can. All elbows taste like licorice, by the way, not many people know that.

[Spam]

[Know what else isn't against the rules? Making food as weird as witchily possible. Hiding weird graffiti during custodial shifts. Well. That probably is, but you have to catch her, first. Organizing booking operations in the yard over checkers games and how long your edits can last in the reading material before someone notices is definitely against the rules. Whatcha gonna do?]

Comments

[blindmanforhire]

I always say the younger generations lack sharp edges. I've met maybe one who can kill with dental floss but the rest? This old man has to always step in for them. At least they pay well.

[rowltfl]

Everyone pays well if you cheat enough!

[everyoneinitsplace]

Stealing teeth is low-hanging fruit, since Her Honor sanctions the practice.

[Bitter? Absolutely! Still amused, though.]

[rowltfl]

No, that's being in a position to demand people's teeth. That's just bullying.

[everyoneinitsplace]

Nothing wrong with some good clean bullying.

[forcedexistence]

If it's such a problem, why not show them the ropes, rather than bitch about it?

[Do it, coward.]

[rowltfl]

Have you not been attending the Owl Lady's Prison Break Power Hour?

[overconfidant]

That is a very sweeping generalization that is frankly insulting to those of us that have been forcibly separated from our collections of both shanks and teeth.

[ The humor is there, the half-joking tone, but it's stretched thin in places. Struggling to conceal that Akira is angry. Not at Eda, but at this situation. ]

[rowltfl]

Teeth are everywhere jaws are and a few they're not.

[choosetoforget]

Is - stealing teeth a particularly universal practice?

[rowltfl]

I mean, you're not gonna run out of room over teeth. Or if you do, it's definitely a good one.

[toadthejanitor]

Terrible shanks. Plastic sporks!? Would you believe some of them would try to break bottles for a shank and not even wrap anything around the bottle neck first? That's just...

bad. It's bad and I do not and am not in any way, shape or form advocating for that. Realistically speaking it would be better for 'em to learn the law and get out that way.

[rowltfl]

There are mirrors all over. Making do without magic stinks and all, but did nobody ever introduce them to that most fundamental spell at all, essence of pointy thing?

[lefttoburn]

Have you considered picking up a new hobby?

[Other than hazing the new prisoners? Mei Changsu just sounds tired.]

[rowltfl]

I like to think of theft as a calling.

[everswirlingtoilet]

Are you fucking nuts?

[rowltfl]

If you want to find out, we've got beginner's packages.

Video

[badbutsad]

[Oh hey, it's the Golden boy on video. He's still wearing the mask, even if his new cloak (the leather one with dark fur trim) doesn't have a hood and his hair is well down to his shoulders; but his ears are fully visible, and bent down at a furious angle. And also bright red.]

Oh, good! The Owl Lady is finally in jail, where she belongs!

[rowltfl]

[Eda winks the golden eye of the two. It is an extremely obvious wink.]

Oh no, I suddenly want to reform and file appropriate paperwork for all my business ventures. All this justice, it's overpowering.

[shamebat]

FUCKING witches. I cannot believe this place.

[rowltfl]

Who spit in your apple blood?

Yard

[therebedragons]

Flint sits down across from Eda at the chess board. The fact he's lacking a hand and an eye by now is enough of an indication of what he's really about. They certainly haven't stolen his fangs, metaphorically speaking.

"Fancy a game?" There's a glint in his good eye, he wants to talk business.

[rowltfl]

"I'm a Hexes Hold'em lady, but with magic and me not getting along more than usual, I guess I'll make do, cyclops," she says with a great deal of confidence for someone who does not actually know how to play chess if anyone looks.

[notsoblackbeard]

Firstly, I've stolen more teeth than a catfish has, which is a whole fuck-load of teeth.

Which is not to say a catfish steals teeth as well, but you know... grows them.

Secondly, everyone knows elongated elbows taste like spider legs, which only stand to reason given the similarities.

[rowltfl]

Lick your elbow right now, smart guy.